Archive for April, 2007

Protected: Unanswered questions. Questionable answers.

April 28, 2007

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Protected: You can’t always get what you want…….

April 23, 2007

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

There she goes….

April 17, 2007

I’m packing for Scotland. I think it might be warm. None of my summery clothes fit. They are absurdly too big – this isnt a good look with a cute denim skirt from Zara which i get compliements about every time i wear it. Well i cant wear it anymore because it falls straight off my hips. Doesn’t matter now because all the legging i bought last season look like sweat pants on me now.

Trust me ladies – this isn’t any fun and does not make me feel in any way better/sexier/more attrative/empowered. I’d like my curves back now please.

Odds and ends.

April 16, 2007

I burnt myself on the electric beach today.

I’m going to Scotland v soon.

I’m v restless and my uni work motivation has become a bit disjointed. This is noot good but i have short bursts of genius which are proving quite impressive.

C’s little nipper has anxiously asked whether I will be looking after her when her Mum goes into labour in September. (i nearly cried). Her Mum took the opportunity to book in a whole schedule of babysitting over the summer.

I bought the Sex and the City box set. Why did i wait so long!?

I am eating a tiny bit more although sometimes i spend ages cooking piles of nice food and then bin half of it. I’m trying though.

I missed seeing Dad today due to scheduling nightmares and i feel terribly guilty.

Protected: Dont let the man get you down..

April 15, 2007

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Yours sincerely wasting away.

April 12, 2007

Because i’m now 8 st 10lbs my lovely indigo RI jeans i bought the other week are gaping at the front and baggy around the bum and dont look remotely sexy/stylish. Although they dont look as comdey as my v favourite Earl jeans which would now fit in a whole other person but still i’m annoyed and despondent.
I went shopping for a bikino today amonsgt other things because our apartment in Edinburgh next week now has a private pool (the boys did good since its cost is £35 each!!). Naturally my gorgeous Roxy one from oz is now two sizes too big. I only trtied on ones with alot of padding up top since my bust is shrinking away to nothing. Turns out that even the padded variety need something to work with! Most of them either gaped at the top (funny that since all my bras do that too now) or they looked like id just stuck some bits of random padding to my front. I know its not the end of the word but i wanted to sit on the floor of the fitting room and sob. Im losing weight and im losing and confidence and a whole lot more besides.

Isn’t it good? If we could freeze moments in time we all would. We do what we can.

April 11, 2007

I’ve been on my placement today and yesterday. today I realised just how sad i will be when its over because it has had such a profound effect. This afternoon one of the downs boys did me a special dance for each song that played on the radio. Another girl has been busting to tell me about her work placement for a whole week and i was as excited as her! Yesterday i went to supervise and help with road sweeping no less and i was excited about that because i had so much fun the last time! Today i spent along time with a guy who takes about 10 minutes to form a sentance. Its painful! But i was happy because its taken him 2 months to feel comfortable enough with me to talk about anything and small talk is a really big step for him (we were talking about cows incidentally).
I’m so humbled and…sometimes i want to say to them so genuinely ‘ my life is better because i know you’

Protected: Boomerang

April 9, 2007

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Protected: And then……

April 8, 2007

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Just another day, nothing in my way….

April 4, 2007

To remind myself not to get morbid and be postive about things now and then…..

I had my end of year review meeting with my course leader and my practice learning (thats the cutting down trees and being stared at etc) manager. The outcome of the meeting was lots of positive comments about my placement and my general professionalism about everything on the course. This surprised me a bit but maybe because I worked full time for so long I’ve absorbed alot of behaviour protocol along the way thats really helping me deal with things in a productive way. They also forced me to admit I am getting 2.1s and borderline 1sts for my essays etc which I know is very good but I find it hard to accept that I might actually be doing well!

In other news I’m off to Edinburgh in a few weeks to see my old Sydney housemates for a weekend on the lash. Also I;ve never been to Scotland before so its an adventure!

Appetite has made a guest appearance in my life again. I think because I’ve been up the line at Mums all week and well – he cant get me here! Think Mum noticed how weird I am though because she’s taken a very softly softly approach to feeding me and or offerning food. This is not the norm in our house – we generally live by the ‘eat what you given’ and ‘dont eat any more you’ll get fat and embarrass me’ code of practice.

Lastly I seem to be getting ALOT of male attention.