Not the girl you think you are

I wrote my first 2nd Year paper in the 2 weeks after George died. At the time I didn’t give a flying fuck about it but after I submitted it I was panicking solidly until the mark came out a week ago. I was so scared I didn’t look at it until today.

In retrospect I probably should have organised some extenuating circumstances. I make a good show of being ok but I’m fucking well not. The tutor I wrote it for I am v fond of. Even though he picks on me in lectures sometimes if I don’t put my hand up straight away with the answers. Cos he’s damn sure I know but I’m just not playing ball that day. He’s reduced all his teaching hours this year because he has a heart condition. During induction week i’d see him leave lecture theatres to go and have horrific coughing fits outside. Id sit there panicking thinking – its gone quiet – oh god what if he’s collapsed??

He knows I’m not the same this year. He’s tried gently a few times to ask me whats wrong. I’m scared to tell him. I can’t stick another 6 hours of lectures after that. I have my limits.

I got a 2:1.

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6 Responses to “Not the girl you think you are”

  1. avssblondie Says:

    Who is George? 2.1….thats brilliant! see….nothing to worry about! xx

  2. onestepbeyond Says:

    George=T’s mum’s partner.

  3. pinky Says:

    well done honey. i know how it feels – ish. i missed a my whole second year becasue of ilness and only went in for exams at the end of the year…still managed a 2:1 as well but it’s never the same after.

    you should be proud that you did that well even with a million other things on your mind x

  4. amillionpieces Says:

    I’m with pinky – a 2:1 is very good, and the fact that you managed it with all this going on is a very good achievment. If you need to talk to someone about things, you know where I’m at hon xx

  5. nikki Says:

    i love you and am so proud of you and i know how hard that can be…

  6. sungirltan Says:

    pinky – i really appreciate your comment – it showed much empathy – thanx hun.
    pete – yeh i do and am always grateful
    nikki i love you too and we should skype soon and im so excited about you coming over the pond xxx

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