Walk like a man….

So I am off to Scotland a week today to visit the Shep. We plan to walk up Ben Nevis and look at Loch Ness and not visit the Commando Museum. I was strictly told I had to have proper walking kit. I had a half hearted look at boots on the net a few weeks back, balked a bit and abandoned that game. I made the error of telling my mother about these impending purchases who has been nagging consistantlyfor some time now.
Yesterday the mother was supposed to visit me at 4pm after she’d done a coach tour with americans off a cruise ship visiting plymouth. Due the hurricane yesterday I got my mother at 7am as the tour was cancelled. I wasn’t even awake!
Unfortunately this meant I was backed into a corner re the boots and I was marched off to Blacks. I went up to the shoe area and took down all the shoes i’d consider wearing. Then sales lady turned up.
SL: Can I help?
Me: Yes, I have to go on holiday to scotland and walk up a mountain an d as you can see (gesture to knne high, high heeled boots) I am not a walking boots type of person – please can you tell me which ones of thse i can wear, Mr Tanya has instructed me to get 2 season boots, whatever they are and 1000 mile socks, i know what they look like u’ve seen them.
SL: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
We were there some time. SL and my mother seemed to enjoy nagging in tandem and laughing at me clomping about ikn what looked to me like rubber bricks. Eventually I ended up with the girl version of Shep’s Merrell boots which arn’t too hideous. On Friday I have to go back and get a jacket and a fleece and………………………………….trousers. The North Face jacket and fleece are quite chic and I like them but the idea of walking trousers……………………………..*makes petulent child face*

all i can think of is that Billy Conolly clip with him saying ‘i’m a youth hosteller, i have the anorak, do you know what my philliosophy is? a stranger is just a friend i haven’t met yet!!’



19 Responses to “Walk like a man….”

  1. pinkjellybaby Says:

    The Boy tried to make me do this when we went to Scotland. I got some of the big sturdy trainer like things becasue I just couldn’t do the boots…and i stuck to my jeans.

    I was lucky that his Step-Mum had some spare waterproof jeans and jacket because i really wasn’t prepared. I know it looks ugly, but it does make everything more comfortable! x

  2. gemmak Says:

    Lol…try bike leathers….you will feel quite feminine in walking trousers after that! heh.

  3. amillionpieces Says:

    Hehe, its hiking barbie time.

    You want Gortex trousers, they’ll keep the water and the wind out. (Says he who wears jeans for everything and just puts up with it if they get wet). Good call on the commando museum, unless it’s changed a lot in the last year or so it’s one room in a dingy hotel in Spean Bridge. The monument is far better, great views and very poignant. (But you know this already as Mr Tanya sent you a postcard of it – I saw it on your post t’other day!)

  4. daffy Says:

    Just take your high heels and let others go walking.
    (Having said that, the cable cars up to Ben Nevis are great and the walk once you are up there is well worth the sacrifice. Don’t eat in the cafe though… food tastes like warmed through cardboard)

  5. Dave59r Says:


    Hurumph!!!……… šŸ˜¦

  6. sungirltan Says:

    daffy – cable car you say? shep?? want to comment on that?

    gemma – fair point

    pinky waterproof jeans – does such a thing exisit?

  7. amillionpieces Says:

    Dave59r, do you not think it’s a touch small though? I like that there is a museum for them, but it needs some serious investment – and it’s own building, ideally.

    But don’t get me started on the governments lack of funding for such things. Grrr.

  8. punctuation Says:

    Sorry…finding it….difficult….to….type…..through….tears…of….laughter…..

    You are SO girly / fashion victim! šŸ™‚

    I think Shep may well back me up on this: leaving behind a good-looking corpse on the slopes of some scree at the bottom of a cliff is not so important as having a decent pair of boots that will not hurt your feet, break your ankles or let in bugs with pointy teeth. Shep sounds like he knows what he’s talking about: 1000 mile socks mean comfy feet with no blisters. Lol.

    I have this mental image of you now striding across the wilds of Scotland saying “just because I’m hiking it doesn’t mean I have to compromise on my standards, I knew that D & G did rucksacks”. šŸ™‚

    Scotland is awesome and trotting around the wilder bits of it is just an amazing experience and blows away the dust and cobwebs of rubbish like rampant inflation and incompetent Prime Ministers.

  9. Matt Says:

    Flip flops & a skirt will be fine your legs are already water proof lol

  10. sungirltan Says:

    ian – well duh – i wrote this to entertain you all!

    furthermopre – i am not allergic to the outdoors since i am a riding instructor (bet you didn’t know that!) and am fully versed in not miding when it rains and being covered in POO. also i look after small children most of the time in an outsit which makes me look like i work in burger king – fashion victim i wish!

    however – i hate waterproof trousers they make yoy sweat AND look like a cunt – id rather be wet! (shep and i have since agreed i can have those geeky hiking trousers instead since i pointed out that ‘they dry really quick – well isn’t that the point of those?’

    AND HE insisted i have the clump boots – i’d had walked up the mountain in my uggs and not spent Ā£250 on all this kit.

    Matt – i don’t do skirts. shows what ian knows.

  11. Bulldog Says:

    You may want to wear those boots for a while and break them in before taking a long walk. Long hikes in new boots can leave you limping.

  12. punctuation Says:

    Er, I never said skirts? šŸ™‚

  13. sungirltan Says:

    ian – well you accused me of being girly

  14. punctuation Says:

    Better than being called manly!

  15. sungirltan Says:

    ian – i’m 5’4″ and a size 8, i could be a butch lesbian in a bolier suit and still not ever pass for ‘manly’

    *thank you god(s)*

  16. Dave59r Says:

    As was said during our chat SGT……there is no cable car that goes to the top of Ben Nevis……


  17. punctuation Says:

    Shep, you’re risking a beating! šŸ˜‰

  18. sungirltan Says:

    ian – dont suggest that he’d like it

  19. Dave59r Says:

    The cable car doesnt go to the top!!!!

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