You can have it all but how much do you want it..

Being incensed always seems to tempt me back to blogging more quicly than joy. Sad as that maybe.

I am trying to finish my degree before I hatch. This is increasing difficult because a. I have until 21/08 to do it if i want to graduate this year. b. i keep falling asleep. c. i have tons of baby things to do and d. can’t seem to bloody think straight!!
I think i’d get a lot more done if i wasn’t silently ranting about a few things. I feel like i’m letting people down (mostly my daughter) if i don’t finish this year. I’m scared it will be even more difficult next year.

Sadly the main reason is that i don’t want to be at uni with or have to share my graduation with some people i can no longer tolerate being friends with. They would be ‘oh god i’m SO stressed about my law exam thats in 3 weeks and my 3 other essays i didn’t bother to do in the year i don’t know how im going to do it all but i’m going on holiday with my boyfriend for a week’ and also ‘oh god my observation was awful!! Bob was sooooo mean to me he’s so rubbish’ (thats Bob who’s a colleague and friend of mine who has assessed me twice (both v positive experiences) and whom i also trained as a practice assessor). Have you met my friends ‘get off your arse and do some work’ and ‘learn to take some fecking criticism and grow up’?? They are so much fun!

My midwife said yesterday very sagely that ‘its all well and good this idea that women should be able to still to everything while they are pregnant but the reality is – they can’t’ I felt a bit better after that.

Inshallah.

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7 Responses to “You can have it all but how much do you want it..”

  1. pinkjellybaby Says:

    You’re being quite tough on yourself. I think you’re doing amazingly well! xx

  2. blue soup Says:

    Let it all out sweetie, the venting helps you feel better 🙂 It’s good for baby too x

  3. sungirltan Says:

    thanks guys – i’m wondering if theres a polite way to say to that pair ‘ok, thats your choice but you’re forfeiting the right to my advice/support/to talk to me about it’

    meanwhile i just downloaded some past papers for my exam and think well actually i could probably manage that!

  4. Sal Says:

    Hugs. Here is you need me, as ever. x

  5. Dave59r Says:

    SGT clever, clever lady……just bit stressed.

    Will all be ok in end x

  6. Fabulous Says:

    I agree. Were not ill being pregnant but its not much fun either. Your slower, have baby brain and generally want to sit on your ass and eat junk food until the baby pops out (all nice and clean haha). Then realise that you have a lovely flat tummy and that your baby is a great sleeper and doesnt cry.
    HA!.
    Seriously hun. You are not alone.
    Dont put yourself under too much pressure and stress as that is not good for you.
    Give yourself a break. You are doing so much and doing an amazing job of just growing your little girl.
    And just so you know…… you will never ever ever being disappointing to your daughter. Dont ever think that.
    When she is born. You will be her world. All she will want is you.
    You is all she knows. And knowing that you are her world is a comforting experience. xxx

  7. sungirltan Says:

    thanks fabs – although i guess i know thats true its still so frustrating!

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